This, for nothing

Shout at the sun

onebigword

Why the darkness, Daniel?

I havent heard the name for such a long time.

Daniel.

Why.

Posted by onebigword at 04:48 PM | Add a Comment

Losing my religion

onebigword

Oh, life is bigger. It's bigger than you. And you are not me. The lengths that I will go to. The distance in your eyes. Oh no, I've said too much. I set it up.

That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight. Losing my religion. Trying to keep up with you. And I don't know if I can do it. Oh no, I've said too much. I haven't said enough. I thought that I heard you laughing. I thought that I heard you sing. I think I thought I saw you try.

Every whisper. Every waking hour. I'm choosing my confessions. Trying to keep an eye on you. Like a hurt lost and blinded fool, fool. Oh no, I've said too much. I set it up.

Consider this. Consider this. The hint of the century. Consider this. The slip. That brought me to my knees. Failed. What if all these fantasies come flailing around. Now I've said too much. I thought that I heard you laughing. I thought that I heard you sing. I think I thought I saw you try.

But that was just a dream. That was just a dream.

But that was just a dream. Try, cry, why try? That was just a dream
Just a dream, just a dream. Dream.

Posted by onebigword at 01:02 PM | 2 comments

The Flicker of the Sunset

onebigword

In all of its crimsom fury, the burning ball of fire slips into oblivion everyday. How many times can a man see the sun set. When the heat fades, all that is left is a lazy dose of dizzyness. Yet, it offers a distant warmth, a warmth that comforts, a warmth that gives the boundless sky boundless hope. But 'tis not mine to enjoy. The sordid merriment. The painful smile. The envy. The dying rays, I try to keep in my hands before it gets consumed by a black, black overcast again. It fleets. Why does it? Why does nothing stay still? I try to capture it with my mind: a picture. I fossilize a moment of its eternal glory. To bask in imagination, 'tis beautiful, and forever mine to keep. Alas, I have to open my eyes. Why can't I keep my eyes closed longer, a little longer, maybe just short of forever. But an answer presents itself without a welcome. A dense weight of dimness numbs my thoughts, and kills my senses. Here it is, darkness. What happened? I didn't even realise, the haste of transition. But there is hope, because the sun will rise again tomorrow. And maybe then, the sun wouldn't set on me again.

Posted by onebigword at 10:11 AM | Add a Comment

Narcolepsy Insomniac

onebigword

And tonight, hell broke loose on my bed again.

Punches to the wall, imaginary death threats, fire and brimstone monologues.

and here is a toast, to the boy who will smile no more.

I hate this life.

Posted by onebigword at 03:27 AM | 1 comments

灰色軌跡

onebigword

酒一再沉溺  何時麻醉我抑鬱  過去了的一切會平息

衝不破牆壁  前路沒法看得清  再有那些掙扎與被迫

踏著灰色的軌跡  盡是深淵的水影

我已背上一身苦困後悔與唏噓  你眼裏卻此刻充滿淚

這個世界已不知不覺的空虛  -- 不想你別去

心一再回憶  誰能為我去掩飾  到那裏都跟你要認識

洗不去痕跡  何妨面對要可惜  各有各的方向與目的

踏著灰色的軌跡  盡是深淵的水影

我已背上一身苦困後悔與唏噓  你眼裏卻此刻充滿淚

這個世界已不知不覺的空虛  -- 不想你別去

Posted by onebigword at 12:53 PM | 2 comments